How to Find Real Friends Online (Especially If You’re Gen Z)

I. Introduction: Why Finding Friends Online Is a Reality for Gen Z

Data indicates that while Gen Z is the most digitally connected generation in history, they are also among the loneliest. According to Global Web Index, 95% of Gen Z accesses the internet via mobile devices, spending over four hours online each day—often across multiple social platforms. Yet despite this constant connectivity, many report feeling emotionally isolated, misunderstood, or adrift.

This paradox is not new, but it is becoming increasingly pronounced.

Unlike previous generations, who formed friendships through shared geography, such as schools, neighborhoods, and extracurricular activities, Gen Z has grown up in an environment where connections are ambient, fast, and often fleeting. Text messages replace hallway conversations, story views substitute for eye contact, and DMs take the place of deep discussions.

Therefore, it is understandable that for Gen Z, online friendship is not just a secondary option—it is the default mode. From Discord servers and TikTok comments to BeFriend introductions, digital spaces have become the most common (and sometimes the only) environments where meaningful relationships begin. However, there is a significant challenge: not every platform designed for “social connection” truly nurtures friendship. Likes do not equate to closeness, and followers do not necessarily mean friends. Surface-level interactions are insufficient for a generation that is fluent in emotional nuance.

This concern goes beyond screen time; it’s about the depth of online interactions. So, how can you find genuine friends online in a culture that often prioritizes performance over presence? Let’s explore this question.

II. The Gen Z Culture of Friendship: Digital by Design

Gen Z didn’t just adapt to digital life; they were raised in it. From their earliest memories, connection meant group chats, Wi-Fi passwords, and profile pictures. Their friendships didn’t transition online; they were born in the digital realm. Generation Z, often referred to as digital natives, has been raised in a technology-driven environment characterized by constant connectivity through smartphones. A staggering 95% of Gen Z accesses the internet using mobile devices, increasing to 98% in regions like the Middle East and Africa. On average, members of this generation spend approximately 4 hours and 10 minutes each day online via their mobile devices, which is 68 minutes more than the global average. Furthermore, around 60% of Gen Z individuals feel perpetually connected to the online world. (Source: Generation Z – GlobalWebIndex Infographic – 2018)

As a result, the rules of friendship have changed. Unlike previous generations that relied on physical presence, like classroom seats, after-school hangouts, and mutual friends, Gen Z friendships form in dynamic, often invisible spaces: shared playlists, Discord threads, TikTok comments, and meme replies at 2 a.m. Social platforms have become not just tools, but social landscapes—spaces where identity is explored, boundaries are tested, and real emotional support is provided. According to Pew Research, 57% of teens have made at least one friend online, and 55% report regularly spending time with close friends in digital environments. Platforms like TikTok aren’t just for trends; they’re increasingly used as search engines for connection and belonging. Based on a national survey and in-person focus groups involving 13 to 17-year-olds, the findings indicate that other popular communication methods among teens include talking on the phone, instant messaging, social media, video chat, video games, and messaging apps. (Source: Paw Research Center) Online environments have become one of the top places for teens to spend time with close friends, ranking as the third most common. 55% of teens report that they regularly connect with friends online.

Amidst a culture filled with noise, Gen Z is crafting their own language of friendship—one that is almost always rooted in the digital world.

III. Why It’s Harder Than Ever to Make Real Friends Online

Despite having more ways to connect than ever, many people feel that genuine connection is increasingly difficult. This paradox defines the daily experience of Generation Z: they have grown up with endless access to technology but often encounter shallow interactions. Direct messages (DMs) go unanswered, group chats fall silent, and notifications don’t always indicate true presence. Behind the blue light of screens, something essential feels missing.

One sign of this disconnect is the rise of “ghosting culture.” A recent study revealed that 77% of Gen Z individuals have ghosted someone, often not out of malice but from exhaustion (Source: Report: Top 6 Reasons Gen Z and Millennials Ghost). One in three report doing so because they struggle with mental health challenges, describing a mix of overwhelm, avoidance, and fear of confrontation. For many, simply disappearing seems safer than explaining their feelings.

However, the cost of this disappearing act is significant: genuine relationships never have the opportunity to deepen. For the person left in the dark, ghosting can feel like confirmation that being vulnerable is not worth the risk. Meanwhile, loneliness is on the rise. According to the UK Office for National Statistics, young adults are more than twice as likely to report feeling “often or always” lonely compared to individuals over 70. It’s startling to think that a generation that is constantly digitally accessible feels the most emotionally unreachable.

This issue isn’t about excessive screen time; it revolves around emotional fatigue. The pressure to be likable, available, responsive, interesting, funny, and flawless can be overwhelming. As a result, many retreat not because they don’t care, but because they have learned to protect their emotional bandwidth. Yet beneath this protective barrier lies a longing for closeness, safety, and someone who truly sees them, not just their online persona.

In summary, Generation Z does not have a friendship problem. Instead, their friendship dynamics have not adapted to their emotional realities. This is where we need to focus on change

IV. What Gen Z Actually Wants in a Friendship

For Gen Z, friendship isn’t about expanding their contact list; it’s about relieving pressure. The curated, high-effort version of connection doesn’t suffice anymore. What they’re seeking is something quieter, yet far more meaningful. “Younger generations are experiencing high or chronic levels of loneliness, highlighting the need to understand the reasons behind this, how it can be prevented, and how effective interventions can be implemented.” (Source/Report: Top 6 Reasons Gen Z and Millennials Ghost)

They desire authentic, imperfect human relationships. In Gen Z’s perspective on friendship, priorities have shifted:

Realness > Perfection

The highlight reel is out. What matters more is having someone who can express their feelings without needing to filter them for acceptance. Messy, open, and honest—these qualities now define closeness.

Safety > Social Status

Gen Z has witnessed how quickly “friends” can become mere metrics—followers, likes, views. They’ve learned that true friendship feels like an emotional refuge, not a public display.

Shared Values > Shared Location

In an increasingly digital world, connections are based more on shared identity, purpose, and a sense of understanding than on geography. This generation is unafraid to discuss mental health, equity, climate, and identity—not as mere buzzwords, but as foundational elements of their bonds. Each friendship becomes an opportunity to create a space that feels emotionally safe and culturally aligned.

“Younger generations are expressing high or chronic levels of loneliness… we must understand why and how to intervene effectively.”  

— ONS Loneliness Analysis

In short, Gen Z isn’t pursuing friendship for appearances. They view it as a survival instinct and construct it as a quiet rebellion against performative culture. They’re not afraid to declare:  “If it’s not real, I’m not interested.”

V. How to Make Friends Online (When You’re Craving Something Real)

There isn’t a single formula for friendship. However, if you’re part of Gen Z and have tried likes, matches, and chats that lead nowhere, you likely know what doesn’t work.

So, what does work?

A slower pace, smaller circles, and a bit more honesty. Here are five simple strategies that can help foster genuine friendships online:

1. Start with Shared Interests

For deeper connections, avoid chasing popularity. Focus on joining value-based communities where you can connect over identity, humor, or passion. This could be a Discord server for neurodivergent creatives, a fan forum for comfort films, or an app like BeFriend. Engage with people who already share your language. Real friendships develop when individuals feel secure enough to be themselves.

2. Choose Low-Pressure Platforms

High-stakes introductions can lead to burnout. That’s why Gen Z tends to prefer tools that allow you to express interest without feeling pressured. Look for features like a casual prompt such as “HMU” or the ability to scroll incognito. Low-pressure settings create a safer environment for building connections. Friendship shouldn’t feel like a sales pitch.

3. Keep Your Opening Casual

Sometimes, a meme expresses more than a bio ever could. Instead of trying to impress someone, start with something lighthearted—a playlist exchange, a “same hat!” message, or a simple like. These small interactions are where emotional trust begins. You don’t need to be clever; just be present.

4. Seek Emotional Reciprocity

Having common hobbies is nice, but friendships grow deeper when both parties invest effort in the relationship—checking in, responding thoughtfully, and showing up for one another. If you find someone who mirrors your emotional availability, hold on to that connection. Compatibility isn’t just about shared interests; it’s about mutual care.

5. Be Consistent Without Rushing Closeness  

The best online friendships develop gradually, often through brief messages, shared memes, periods of silence, and then reconnection. Follow up, but also allow space. There’s no need to rush. If it’s a true friendship, it won’t require excessive chasing. Your presence is what matters most, not how frequently you communicate.

VI. Why BeFriend Is Built Differently for Gen Z Culture

Let’s be honest: most social apps weren’t built with Gen Z’s emotional realities in mind. They were designed to drive likes, maximize time spent on-screen, and turn attention into currency. However, Gen Z isn’t looking for another platform to perform on; they want spaces that feel more like conversations and less like auditions.

This is where BeFriend comes in. We created BeFriend in response to everything Gen Z has expressed they are tired of:

The pressure to write a perfect bio before even saying hello
The fear of being ghosted after one misstep
The exhaustion of endless swiping that rarely leads to something meaningful

Instead, we focused on this question: What would friendship look like if it started with comfort rather than comparison? Here’s how that vision is realized:

• Short, opt-in profiles that lower the barrier to entry, because no one should have to brand themselves just to say hi.
• Interest-based filtering allows you to meet people through shared values rather than vanity metrics.
• HMU prompts and Incognito Mode, giving you control over how visible, open, or low-key you want to be.
• A vibe-first design, centered on mutual curiosity instead of competing for attention.

Because real friendship doesn’t require filters; it just needs space to develop.

“It felt easy. I didn’t have to impress anyone—just connect.” — BeFriend user, age 22, told us.

In a world that constantly urges Gen Z to perform, we believe that choosing presence over polish is the bravest choice of all. We’re building a space that makes that decision feel a little more attainable.

VII. Our Final Thoughts: Finding Real Friends in a Filtered World

Gen Z isn’t disconnected—they’re just done pretending. They have grown up in a world where everyone is reachable, yet few feel truly connected. In this environment, connection is constant but often curated, and being seen doesn’t always equate to being understood.

That’s why this generation is redefining friendship:

• From popularity to presence.
• From performance to permission.
• From likes to listening.

They’re not antisocial; they’re post-superficial. They don’t seek louder platforms but prefer softer spaces. They’re not looking for a hundred people to know them online—just one person who genuinely understands them. And that’s enough.

At BeFriend, we believe that finding this kind of connection should be normal and safe, rather than rare. So if you’re tired of shouting into the void and done trying to be interesting just to be noticed, maybe it’s time to be real and let that be the beginning of something new.

👉 Ready to meet people who truly get you? Download BeFriend and start finding real friends online today!