“We’re more connected than ever—but we feel more alone than ever too.” This sentiment resonates with millions of Gen Z individuals navigating the paradox of digital intimacy.
Why Friendship Looks Different for Gen Z
Generation Z—those born between the mid-1990s and early 2010s—are often described as digital natives. They are the first generation to grow up fully immersed in social media, mobile technology, and online culture. However, despite seeming socially saturated, many Gen Z individuals report experiencing chronic loneliness, stress, and a yearning for deeper human connection. Here are some insights provided from Key Findings from the Gallup-Walton Family Foundation Reports:
- Preparedness for the Future: While 79% of Gen Zers agree they have a great future ahead, only about half (51%) feel prepared for that future. (Source: Walton Family Foundation Gallup Voices of Gen Z Study)
- Thriving in Life: The 2024 “Voices of Gen Z” annual survey indicates that just over half (51%) of Gen Z individuals report thriving in their lives. Notably, Gen Z adults aged 18 to 27 are eight percentage points less likely to be thriving compared to their K-12 peers (47% vs. 55%). (Source: Walton Family Foundation and Gallup Gen Z Panel)
- Mental Health: Only 20% of Gen Z rate their mental health as “excellent,” which is lower compared to Millennials (29%), Gen X (31%), and Baby Boomers (39%). (Source: Walton Family Foundation Gallup Voices of Gen Z Study)
So, what’s going on? The issue isn’t that Gen Z doesn’t want connection; rather, the infrastructure of modern social life doesn’t always facilitate the intimacy and authenticity they crave. This raises an urgent question: How can you make friends with Gen Z in a way that feels real, reciprocal, and grounded in trust? Let’s explore further.
1. Be Real, or Don’t Bother
Forget networking tips and curated small talk. Gen Z is highly attuned to performative behavior, and they reject it. This generation has grown up amid Instagram highlights and knows the sensation of living behind a filter. They don’t seek perfection; they seek presence.
According to psychologist Jean Twenge, author of *iGen*, “Gen Z seeks authenticity because they’re exhausted by performance.” In relationships, they value honesty, vulnerability, and emotional intelligence.
Instead of saying, “Hey,” try this: “I’m new here and kind of awkward—but I think your playlist is cool. Want to swap music recommendations?” It’s genuine, straightforward, and demonstrates that you’re present rather than just performing.
2. Speak Their Language, But Don’t Mimic It
Yes, Gen Z uses slang—“rizz,” “delulu,” “bet,” and “mid” are just a few examples. However, this isn’t about simply using jargon; it’s about respecting their digital fluency without turning it into a parody.
What matters more than mastering their idioms is exhibiting curiosity, humility, and adaptability. Gen Z appreciates those who strive to understand their world—not simply imitate it.
Where They Communicate:
- Discord servers
- TikTok comments
- Reddit threads
- BeReal, Instagram DMs, and yes—even LinkedIn (within niche academic and activist circles)
Pro Insight: Treat Gen Z as cultural peers, not puzzles. Ask questions, share perspectives, and be open to mutual influence.
3. Connection Starts With Shared Values, Not Shared Demographics
Gen Z friendships are often based on shared values rather than similarities in background. Topics like mental health, climate change, identity, equity, and community are not just side conversations but foundational to building trust. According to McKinsey’s 2023 Gen Z report, this generation’s social decisions—where they connect, what platforms they engage with, and who they interact with—are guided by values-first thinking.
Try asking: “What’s something you care deeply about right now?” instead of, “So… what do you want to do in five years?” Why? Because Gen Z is not chasing fixed outcomes, they’re focused on building lives rooted in meaning.
4. Meet Them Where They Already Are
Friendships today don’t just form at school or work; they often spark in unexpected places:
- TikTok duets
- Niche fandom forums
- Live streams on Twitch
- Group chats around shared causes
Digital platforms are where social microclimates thrive, and Gen Z has mastered navigating them. However, don’t underestimate the importance of real-life interactions. Despite their considerable screen time, Gen Z craves in-person connections more than they’re often credited for. The same Gallup survey found that in-person connectivity is the strongest predictor of well-being among Gen Z.
Balance is Key: Connect digitally and nurture those connections in real life. Follow up a great Discord chat with a walk, a café meet-up, or a collaborative project.
Our Final Thought: Gen Z Isn’t Anti-Social—They’re Post-Superficial
The idea that Gen Z has “forgotten how to connect” is outdated and reflects a misunderstanding of how this generation navigates a hyperstimulated, over-networked world. They haven’t lost the ability to connect; instead, they have recalibrated it.
This generation grew up watching likes become currency, followers become status, and filtered performances become the norm. However, in recent years, we’ve observed a collective shift: a quiet rebellion against the empty dopamine rush of social media. Gen Z isn’t withdrawing; they’re being selective. They are post-superficial, not anti-social.
They crave:
- Real conversations, not rehearsed replies
- Psychological safety, not performative positivity
- Friendships aligned with purpose, not just based on proximity or convenience
- Mutual growth, not passive validation
Unlike previous generations, they aren’t afraid to express their feelings:
- “I feel lonely.”
- “I need something deeper.”
- “I want better friendships.”
If you want to connect with Gen Z, it’s not about mastering trends or adopting slang. It’s about respecting their standards: honesty, depth, empathy, and shared values. When you engage with them on these levels—digitally, emotionally, and intellectually—you won’t find a closed door. Instead, you’ll find a generation that is not just ready to connect; they’re eager for it.
This emotional fluency is not a weakness; it’s a sign of evolution.
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